The Home Birth Story of Baby Gummy Bears

It's funny how we can spend so much time planning and imagining every detail of a long awaited moment... But when it comes down to it, it happens exactly the way it's supposed to.
Since before we even conceived Baby GB, when she was still only a hope for the future, I always pictured my homebirth completely different: At the first sign of labor, my husband would sage the room...no, the whole house. We'd have our incense and music and I would be all over the place, going about daily life and posing in every labor position in the book with each contraction, while birth affirmations were repeated to me like mantras. It seems so silly to me now!
Baby Gummy Bear's birth was perfect.

Days before I went into labor, I felt drawn to stay in my room as much as possible. I had been a little sick and just wanted to stay in bed and rest those days. One morning, 2 days before I went into labor, I went to back to sleep while having strong regular contractions, and I had a very vivid dream. I dreamed that I woke up and I was in transition, I knew the baby was coming, and she arrived very quickly, within just a few pushes. In my dream, my baby was born in the caul (membranes intact) and it was a girl (we never found out the gender of our baby). I was so sad that my labor had happened so fast. But my midwife arrived very quickly and also the birth photographer and they did the best they could to make the best of everything. I woke up, so relieved it was only a dream, and the contractions had stopped. Later that day I texted both my husband and my midwife about the dream I had. The dream made me realize that the entire experience of having a homebirth... having the support of my husband and my midwife and being in the birthing tub and listening to music.. Those things were also important to me, more than just "getting the baby out". (being overdue, I had been feeling quite impatient to have the baby, I tried so many ridiculous "natural induction tricks" to no avail). After that dream, I gave up all efforts to encourage labor, and I decided to let my baby come on its own perfect time.

I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The first thing the morning before, I had a bloody show. But other than a few hard but irregular contractions, and pink-tinged TP, nothing really happened. I got Nuni to sleep that night and spent some quality time with BluJay. I felt very restless that night, so I stayed up. Around 1 am or so, I realized that the contractions I was having were really getting intense. I laid there moaning lowly through contractions for a while while BluJay and Nuni slept. I began timing them on a phone app, and found that my contractions were about 5-7 minutes apart, lasting about a minute.. And within the hour, they got closer to 3-5 minutes apart. I realized I had not eaten for several hours, and I didn't want to go into labor hungry, so I ate a bowl of organic "toasted oats" (like Cheerios) and milk. Around 3:45 am, I decided to text my midwife and let her know that the contractions were intense and that I was going to take a shower for some relief. The shower felt so nice and made the contractions feel less intense, but they were still coming regularly. After a little while, I got out, and as I was drying off, the contractions were much more intense, causing me to stop everything. I couldn't talk or walk through them at all.

I finally woke up BluJay, telling him I'm pretty sure I was in labor. He checked his phone, it was about 4am. He kept trying to go back to sleep, but I finally insisted that I needed his support, so he got a Jones Soda cola, which we shared with hopes that the caffeine would give us an energy boost. I lit candles in the room and BluJay lit an incense in the living room for the occasion, but I didn't feel like leaving our bedroom much. I walked into the living room once and I swore that getting out of my "comfort zone" made the contractions hurt more, so I didn't leave the room again. I started bouncing on the birthing ball, but I had to stop through each contraction, as they were getting so intense. I kept reminding myself to breathe deeply, to allow oxygen to flow through my body. My husband brought in our labor and birth boxes into our room and got out some of our coping items.. I grew very fond of the two tennis balls in a tube sock.. It was amazing. At this point, I was now kneeling on the floor, leaning over either the edge of the bed or the birthing ball, while my husband pressed and rolled the tennis balls against my lower back during contractions, which helped tremendously. Nuni soon woke up and he was being amazingly good for us. Soon he chose to assist my husband in comforting me. He would rub his little hands on my back while I was having a contraction, and he would say in his sweet little toddler voice "it okay mommy. It okay." The love that flowed through his little hands to my laboring back literally eased the pain of the contractions entirely a few times. It was incredible.

We texted the midwife to head our way around 5am. She lives over an hour away, but I realized that time seriously flies when you're in labor! It didn't seem like long at all, but at around 6:45am, our amazing midwife Shannon, her doula assistant Trina, and the birth photographer Abby, were walking into the room, carrying loads of supplies. I had just begun getting very nauseous and was throwing up with contractions. I was so relieved when everyone showed up, and it was great to see friendly smiling kind faces. Shannon checked my vitals and we were all very relieved to find that my blood pressure was perfect! (the weeks before, my BP had been high, and we were worried it may present a problem in labor). Baby's heartbeat was perfect as well. Abby asked me if there was anything I wasn't comfortable with her photographing. I told her to go ahead and capture it all! I had never seen pictures of any of my births before and I was finally ready to see the process! A little while later, as I labored across my bed and began feeling nauseous, I turned around and jokingly told Abby to capture everything... EXCEPT for me puking! Trina got the birth pool blown up and filled. The air pump that was filling the birth pool was quite loud! Then again, all of my senses felt very heightened at the time. I just remember once the loud noise of the air pump started, suddenly my contractions totally stopped. My concentration seemed shattered, yet I couldn't bear the thought of leaving the safety of my room, so I continued to sit there through the noise. Nuni cuddled closely with me, unsure of the noise himself. As soon as the noise stopped, my contractions continued, now with an even greater intensity.

I breathed and blew air, closing my eyes for focus. I sunk into the music on my "birth playlist" as the midwife and doula worked to attach the hose to the sink and fill the birth tub with warm/hot water. I breathed in time with whatever Colplay, Beatles, Cranberries, Bob Marley, Eisley, or Iron and Wine (& ect) song happened to come on as I sat on the bed, waiting for that little turtle thermometer to reach the ideal temperature that would allow me to get into the pool. I asked BluJay to hang up a tapestry of a mandala that I believed would make a very good focal point, as the circular sections had always reminded me of the various stages of dilation. He hung it on the wall right in front of the birth pool.

After this point, time no longer exists. Everything moves in either fast forward or slow motion. I lost all concept of time as I fell into "labor land" as they call it.

The most welcome words I ever heard at that point were when I was told I could get into the water. I didnt hesitate at all. I was already in my swimsuit. My midwife complimented my pregnant belly. That's the last memory I have of actually looking at my belly while I still had it.
I dimmed the lights and got into the water and it felt so warm and amazing. The weightlessness of my body helped tremendously in reducing the pain of my contractions. I was almost afraid that my labor would stop, since I felt so comfortable. The birth attendants sat back and let me do my thing.

Nuni decided that he wanted to "swim" with mommy, so BluJay got him ready and put him in the pool with me. Nuni clung to me at first, hesitant to stand in the pool. I would cling to him right back while I was having a contraction. Finally Nuni got braver and started playing and splashing in the water, having a great time! After a while, he got a little too brave, and leapt across the pool and accidentally dunked himself under the water. He started screaming! I held onto him, comforting him, and right then a contraction hit. BluJay scooped him up and dried him off and got him dressed, and Nuni never got back into the pool.
The rest of my labor, I was completely zoned out, almost unaware of what was going on around me. If you were to ask, I couldn't tell you much about what anyone was doing. I remember hearing bits and pieces of conversation between Shannon, Trina, and Abby. BluJay would come and rub my back or press the tennis balls into my lower back every now and again. Nuni would talk, sing and play with his toys, he would check on me periodically. I would get out of the tub every so often to empty my bladder. I remember at one point, I stepped out of the pool, realizing that it was daylight outside. The contractions that happened while I was out of the water were so intense. All I wanted was to get back to the comfort of the pool. While having a contraction in the bathroom doorway, Trina came and started shaking my hips (in an experienced doula way). The pain of the contraction was immediately relieved when she did that and in amazement I told her "that felt so great!".

I started moving into transition. It became necessary for me to moan in order to cope with the contractions. At one point, I asked BluJay to get into the water with me. His comfort was indescribable. He held me in his arms and rubbed my back gently as I would have contractions. Being with him felt like exactly where I needed to be. I was not afraid at all. I felt so relaxed (and tired from being up over 24 hrs!) that I would fall asleep against BluJay in between contractions. BluJay was afraid that me falling asleep would stop my labor, so he would wiggle my hips and a contraction would come. I finally told him "do NOT do that!". As I moved further into transition, part of me wished that my labor would just stop, give me a break and let me sleep for a while. But it didn't. One time I got out of the pool and tried laying in bed to rest...but after 2 contractions, I decided that I could NOT go through one more contraction out of the water, so I got right back in the pool.


Nuni was being such a sweetheart while I was in labor. A few times he would come up to me as I was leaning across the edge of the pool and he would tell me "it okay mommy" or kiss my face. The little rush of happiness I got from that would always make the contractions hurt a little less. Abby tried to get a picture of Nuni giving me a kiss, but he shied away from the camera. I got so incredibly hot and sweaty during labor, and the box fan that was set up next to the pool was such a great relief! Trina would place a cool washcloth across my head every now and then and that also felt so nice! I started becoming nauseous again and with every other contraction, I would need the "pink tub". Anything that would break my concentration was almost painful...anytime a song would change, anytime someone spoke to me. Little things started to bother me, like the volume of the music being too loud or too quiet, or hearing the garbage truck outside. It was then that I realized that the mandala tapestry was not a good focal point. It seemed almost violent with it's RED and YELLOW and BLACK and GREEN contrast, and the chaotic design. I absolutely could not look at it during labor. (however, it did make a great backdrop for pictures). I decided that it was time for my swimsuit bottoms to come off.

The contractions became incredibly intense. As each one approached, it felt like dark clouds descending on a horizon. With each contraction, my closed eyes would visualize violent, giant crashing waves over a tiny boat. I thought to myself "if I were in a hospital, I would most definitely be asking for an epidural right now". I cried out to my midwife "please tell me this is almost over! I just want this to be over!" It almost surprised me how calm she sounded as she said "I would say, judging by how you sound, that you don't have too much longer." As she said this, a Bob Marley song was playing, the lyrics said "Lord, I've got to keep on moving.." It was right then that I realized that I had no choice but to keep going through labor until the end, and I had to stop fighting the pain. I sunk inward, began listening to my body, and it guided me. On my hands and knees, I began rocking my hips. I focused in on the music and the rhythms. I pictured my baby moving further down. I remembered a quote from Ina May Gaskin. My visions of violent waves in an ocean became visions of steady foamy waves washing upon a shore. I totally surrendered to the labor process and told myself "this is it. It's happening." Although I declined an internal exam for fear that it may discourage me, Shannon guessed that I must be about 7-8 cm. She told me to tell her when it becomes "unbearable".
The contractions were taking my breath away, but I kept reminding myself to breathe deeply. Trina would remind me to keep my face relaxed. When I couldn't, she would come and stroke my face in the places that I was flinching to help me relax. My husband was no longer in the water, as he had been caring for Nuni who was starting to get antsy at this point. I felt the need to empty my bladder once more and as I sat on the toilet, I noticed that my body was involuntarily continuing to push. I felt tremendous pressure on my bottom. As I got back into the pool, I asked BluJay to get back in with me, for some reason I insisted that he not wear a shirt this time.

I told my midwife I was feeling "pushy" and she sprang into midwife mode, opening up her cases and getting out her gloves and everything. They were telling me I was doing great. Although I was feeling "pushy" I was in doubt that I would be pushing the baby out soon. Although the contractions were intense, they never felt "unbearable" and although I had no real sense of time, I felt like there was too much of a relaxation time between my contractions to be close to pushing.. I was expecting contractions to be on top of one another before I would get to that time.

I felt very in tune with my body and continually felt drawn to do certain things... To rock my hips, to float my bottom in the water, to turn around and lean forward against the tub, to lean against my husband, and various other things. With each contraction the pressure became more and my body would begin to "push". Somehow I was still in doubt that I would be giving birth soon. I was leaning against my husband, with my body laid spread out across the pool while I was half-floating on my back. Shannon suggested I tried pushing a little. I felt the urge to stand upright on my knees through the next contraction. Suddenly I felt very powerful and full of energy. I got that familiar feeling of being connected with the eons of women throughout time that had given birth before me, I almost felt their guidance and comfort in spirit. Everything around me seemed interconnected. Every word that was spoken was meant to be said, every song that came on was meant to be heard, every contraction was perfectly timed. I started vomiting again during contractions, which drew my contractions out even longer. Trina assured me that vomiting was actually helping me, as it was causing my muscles to contract my baby downward. My moans intensified and my voice started getting higher. My midwife began moaning along with me in a lower tone to try to help me focus on keeping my tones low. I tried, it seemed impossible. Shannon commented that she believed the baby could be stuck behind my pelvic bone. With the next contraction, I felt the sudden urge to lean forward against the pool, and grab on to whatever I could get my hands on. Luckily some genius who designed the Birth Pool decided to put handles on the outside of it, and they were exactly what I needed. I began rocking, almost thrusting my hips back and forth. My midwife was now standing by my side, and advised me to try pushing with my next contraction. I thought surely I wasn't ready to really start pushing... Although very intense, labor wasn't quite "unbearable" yet.. But I gave it a shot. My next contraction approached and I half-heatedly gave a little push (I was afraid to start pushing hard, since I was convinced it wasn't time)....I sat up a little and the next thing I know the baby slid right down into my birth canal and my body completely took over, continuing to push and push without me even trying!! I remember thinking to myself that I could really trust my body, it felt comforting to know this. I exclaimed that the baby was coming and my midwife reached down to hold my perineum to prevent me from tearing. This reminded me of my fear of tearing and I hesistated to continue to push. I wanted my labor to stop altogether, I felt like telling everyone I give up, I'm not doing this anymore. That's when the next contraction happened and I suddenly felt such a pressure on my bottom that I almost stopped everything to announce that I needed to go to the bathroom..NOW!! My midwife asked me to give another big push, so I did. I no longer cared that I felt like I was about to poop. (Luckily I did not!) Shannon announced that the baby was crowning! I felt the "ring of fire" and my mind was teetering between wanting to stop everything, and wanting to get it over with ASAP! Getting it over with seemed more logical, so with my next contraction, I grabbed ahold of the handles and pulled with all of my might as I pushed as hard as I could!! My mind got a flash of a picture I once saw of a birthing woman holding onto a tree limb. I focused in on that closed-eyed vision, and I roared as I pushed my baby's head a little further. The midwife informed us that the amniotic membranes were still intact. I screamed as I pushed. I think someone may have said not to scream, but I screamed anyway. Nuni got frightened of my screaming and he started to cry, but someone (I think Trina) picked him up and explained that I was about to have the baby and held him up near the birth pool to watch. He calmed right down as he watched his sibling being born. My midwife told me to take all of that screaming and put it towards pushing in my bottom. That made sense, so as my next contraction came, I did just that. It totally worked! I bore down with all of my might! I could feel myself tearing in exactly the way I was afraid I would. I yelled so loudly and so powerfully, in a way that I was not even aware that I was capable of. The midwife announced that the head was out! The worst was over, and I felt such a sense of relief! I reached down and felt my baby's head. It was round and very slippery. My baby was almost here! I was so close to meeting my little one, I couldn't wait! With my next contraction I bore down with every fiber in my body, and I suddenly felt my baby's body slip out of me! Never in my life have I felt such an incredible, remarkable sense of whole-hearted relief!! At 11:52 am, after a 10.5 hour labor, and 18 minutes of pushing, my baby came Earth-side. My husband caught the baby as I lay face-down against the birthing pool, panting. Time stood still. The world was spinning around me as I heard the midwife and my husband exclaiming that the baby was born in the caul! I laughed in disbelief! "Just as I had dreamed!" I said. Shannon peeled the sac off of baby's head, and she asked if we had a boy or girl, and I heard BluJay say, "It's a girl!" in a tone that sounded as if he could hardly believe it! (my whole pregnancy BluJay was convinced the baby was a boy. Girls are very very rare in his family). I absolutely could not believe that my dream had come true!! I had a baby girl born in the caul! How could I have possibly predicted that?!

Shannon and my husband helped me get turned around, and lift my leg over the baby's cord. I saw my little baby girl floating in the water in my husband's hands. She was a purplish tint and I recall being surprised with what a big healthy looking chubby baby she was! Her face was so squishy. When I got settled in a seated position, my husband placed her in my hands, and I laid her across my chest. I stared at her in awe. I took a brief note as to what song she was born to, and I thought to myself that it could not have been more perfect. Shannon advised me to talk to her. I said "Hi baby. I'm your mommy. I can't believe you're a girl." Shannon urged me to keep talking to her, as she was slow to transition and hadn't cried yet. I tried to rouse her as she looked around the room and at me in wonder, but at last Shannon decided to give her some free flow oxygen to help her pink up. BluJay held the oxygen near her nose, and she pinked up soon enough. I caressed her little body, rubbing the vernix into her delicate new skin. I had the strangest sense of dejavu, as though this moment had happened before, or I had dreamed it. I asked someone what time it was, and I was told it was just before noon. I was in disbelief! Time flew by so fast! It definitely did not seem like I had spent 5 hours in the birth pool.

I felt my uterus continue to contract as I held my baby girl. I wanted so badly to kiss her face and breathe in her scent, but her cord was still attached to the placenta which was inside me, and the cord was too short to allow for me to bring baby girl up to my face. The contractions intensified and Shannon noted that there were membranes inside me. BluJay said "Is it another baby?" My eyes got huge. Luckily it wasn't. I tried nursing Baby Gummy Bears. She didn't seem too interested in nursing just yet. She latched for only a moment, but she was very alert and much more interested in looking at the world around her. Shannon exclaimed that this baby was one of the most alert newborns she had seen!

Shannon asked me to go ahead and try giving another push. I did and the strangest feeling squishy matter came out of me..it was the placenta. Shannon noted that it came out "Duncan". I asked what that meant and she explained, although I only slightly remember now. BluJay saw a big cloud of blood start to fill the pool, and he promptly got out. After this, time just went in fast-forward.

They helped me out of the pool and I couldn't believe how much blood was spilling out of me. I remember thinking how crazy my belly looked.. an empty pregnant belly. It was such a relief to lay in my bed. Trina held Baby Gummy Bears, who was still "lotus" (attached to her placenta and cord) while Shannon helped me into bed. Trina said that baby peed while she was holding her! I turned off the music, which had been shuffling many of the same songs on my "birth playlist" for the past 7 hours or so. I was able to hold baby GB again, skin to skin. Shannon evaluated my bleeding and tear. Just as I had suspected, I tore upwards. My perineum was perfectly intact though. Shannon remarked that I had not even a "skid mark". I received drops of Shepherd's Purse tincture to help the bleeding. I also nursed Nuni to help my uterus contract. Nuni fell right asleep. The after pains were terrible, they felt exactly like the labor pains, if not worse. I got nauseous and started to vomit again. I took some After-Ease tincture to help. After a while I forgot all about my pledge to be med-free and I was asking for Ibuprofen. Shannon decided that my bleeding was not slowing adequately, so she gave me the option between a shot of pitocin or a cervidil suppository. I chose the shot of pitocin, which I received in my leg. It stung, but felt like nothing compared to what I had just been through. The pitocin did its job and the bleeding slowed.
Everything after that is just a blur of bloody towels, people coming in and out of the room, light conversation, the smell of bleach and ammonia, cups of warm 'mother's milk' tea, peroxide bottles, receiving drops of different tinctures and throwing them up into the trusty 'pink tub', the deflating birth pool, and various instructions or questions. I was so exhausted. At this point I had been awake for almost 30 hours straight.

I was able to get Baby GB to nurse. Her first latch was priceless. She had been "lotus" for about 2 hours before Shannon asked us who would like to cut the cord. I assumed my husband would want to, but he declined and said that I should do it, since he got to cut Nuni's cord. I had never cut any of my babies' umbilical cords before, so this was a first experience for me. Shannon handed me the scissors, and at last I severed the connection that my baby had known her entire life, with what was once her source of living, connecting her dependent little body to mine. It felt almost ceremonial as I silently welcomed Baby GB's vital 'independence' on this Earth. Trina grabbed up the placenta in it's pan to prepare it for encapsulation later on.
After plenty of skin-to-skin time, Shannon asked if I would like her to do the newborn exam. I was very ready to find out how much she weighed and everything. As soon as Baby GB left my arms, she let out her first cries. We made our guesses as to her weight. I guessed about 9 lbs, Trina guessed 9 lbs 2 oz. Shannon laid her in the sling and weighed her... 9 lbs 2 oz, just as Trina had guessed! She was 20 3/4 inches long. Her head measuring 14. Her apgar scores were 7 and 9. Her gestational age was right on at 40+ wks. Baby Gummy Bears is my biggest baby of them all! After the newborn exam, baby napped with my husband as Trina and Shannon prepared the herbal afterbirth sitz bath. She asked if I would like Baby GB to join me, but I declined as I wanted to delay her first bath for a few days/weeks, to allow the benefits of the vernix to remain on her skin. I was stark naked at this point and standing felt incredibly awkward, not because I was naked but because everything felt so out of place on my body, and
I was still heavily bleeding. I waddled over to the tub with a huge chux pad around my waist. Shannon explained to me that I must keep my bladder empty or risk hemorrhage, so I made a pit stop before going into the bathtub. As I stepped into the brown, herbal-infused shallow water, I dreaded sitting down on the hard tub floor, as my bottom area was so very swollen and sore. I felt like a mess and although the water smelled like a nice cup of tea, I was ready for the bath to be over almost as soon as I got in. I asked Shannon if she could hand me the handheld mirror so I could "pull myself together", and I fixed my hair a little. After 10 minutes or so, Shannon helped me out, advising me to take it easy since I had just given birth 3 hrs ago. Had it been 3 hours already?!! Time was flying! Shannon chose a tank top for me and I put it on, along with those mesh undies that go with the giant postpartum pads.
After Trina and Shannon did the last bits of cleaning up, they started a load of towels in the wash, and got me all tucked into bed with my sleeping family.
They asked me what I thought of my birth and I told them with a smile
"This is exactly the way it's supposed to be."

Shannon, Trina and Abby said their goodbyes and showed themselves out, leaving me to rest in bed. Everyone was snoozing away, and despite my exhaustion from being awake well over 30 hours, and giving birth, I still felt a little restless and filled with new mom joy. I kept replaying the events of Baby GB's birth in my head. I was so happy and thrilled to finally be able to say that I had a perfect birth experience with no regrets whatsoever. I finally had the homebirth that I had always dreamed of. I finally had our baby in my arms.

Love,

Boheme Mom

My Husband's Restoration Journey Part I

NOTE: I hesistated to write this article for a while now, because of the very personal nature of it. But a few days ago, I asked my husband how he would feel about me blogging about his restoration progress, and surprisingly, he told me to go for it! It means a lot to me that my husband is working towards a goal that is so important to him, and the fact that he is allowing me to share his story, really goes to show his desire to reach out to others who may be able to relate, or use his experiences to make an important decision for themselves regarding circumcision or restoration. If anything can be taken from this, please take note that what is done to a baby boy will eventually turn into what has been done to a man...a man who has the ability to think for himself, gather facts, and decide that he may not be happy with having no choice over an alteration that occured to his own body. If you take anything from this, take advantage of the links and resources that I've provided, and see for yourself the things that we have learned over the years. Of all things to take from this, please do not take offense. As you will see, I am certainly not 'perfect'. I've made my own mistakes and learned from them. My only hope is that you may see this issue from my husband's point of view. For his perspective is not uncommon at all among modern men today. Thank you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part I - How It All Began
It all started when I got pregnant with our son nearly 3 years ago. I asked my husband "If he's a boy, would you want him to be circumcised?" My husband honestly didn't know. My husband is a smart man with a very independent and critical way of thinking. He doesn't follow trends or jump to any conclusions without the facts. This is something that I admire about him so much!

At the time, I was venturing into the world of the all-natural. My first son (who is now almost 5) had been circumcised a few years earlier against my better judgement, only because his dad (my ex) insisted upon it. I'll never forget the regret I felt when they brought him back to me from the nursery that day. Something stung in my gut, I knew what had been done was wrong, but I didn't know why. All I knew was that every time I changed his diaper, I wished that I could turn back the hands of time and not allow anyone to change him! I knew he had been perfect the way he was born, and seeing him altered, reduced, and in pain was nearly unbearable. I tried to believe what the people around me were telling me, that it's "for the best" for various reasons (that I now know to be false). Afterall, every male in our family, and nearly every male that I knew, was circumcised.

When my husband and I got pregnant with my second son, I didn't know the facts yet, but I did have a longing to make a knowledgable fact-based decision, as did my husband. We decided to look into it.

On our journey towards knowledge we stumbled across some amazing sites such as Circumcision Information and Resource Pages and National Organization of Circumcision Resource Centers which helped us to make our quick and final decision. Upon researching, that stinging-gut feeling that I had with my first son made perfect sense.  It was the feeling of guilt, regret, and sadness, for allowing a functional, healthy part of my son's sexual anatomy to be taken away without his consent. It was so interesting to learn about the various functions of the foreskin, the truth about what is really involved in the procedure, what is really taken away with circumcision, and the many complications that are likely to arise because of it.

I'll always remember my husband's voice shaking with sadness and anger as we read that information, when he declared, "I've been ROBBED!".  Yes, the facts and evidence were very convincing to help us make "our decision", and it became very clear to us that circumcising our son was not an option... But honestly, Nothing could have possibly made me feel more hatred towards this procedure than seeing the grown man that I love most in this world hurting and realizing the injustice that had been done to him when he was only a helpless baby. From that moment on, my husband became anti-circumcision, and I stood right by his side. My husband went through months of anger and resentment that he not only had NO say in what happened to his own sexual organ, but that his parents paid someone to take away his rights and bodily autonomy, and rob him of a normal, natural sex-life the way that nature intended it to be. We also discovered that some of the many complications that are common among circumcised men, were things that my husband was experiencing. He just never knew that they were not "normal".

For instance, whoever the jerk was who circumcised my husband, circumcised him so tightly that it left him absolutely NO slack skin whatsoever. Because of this, when he became erect, he would feel a tightness, a stretching, a strange pain, and some of the skin from his scrotum would have to be "borrowed" to help accomodate the erection. His penis would appear shiny from the stretching. This lack of slack has also resulted in several instances of painful intercourse, for both of us. Oftentimes, I would be very sore for hours, sometimes days after we would have sex, despite a generous amount of natural lubrication (which we've come to learn is actually drawn out by a circumcised penis, making it less effective in function.) (Click here for more info on how circumcised sex harms women). There were even a few instances, especially in the beginning of our intimate relationship when we were discovering our "groove" together, that parts of my husband's shaft had been literally rubbed raw from the friction. From what I can tell, this was very painful to him, and something no man would want to go through. If I remember correctly it would take over a week to heal.
My husband also suffers from very bad scarring from his circumcision. He is of decent average size, but literally half of his shaft is scarring. This was something that he had always found embarassing in the past, and he would attempt to hide the scars from his previous girlfriends. The scarring is also very apparent on his glans (the head of the penis), and you can practically see the process where the doctor had to tear and pry away my husband's foreskin that was fused to his newborn glans. Because of this scarring (and the keratinization due what is supposed to be an internal body part being constantly exposed to the elements and brushed against his clothes) he admitted to having a very de-sensitized glans. He would even sometimes get sensations that were somewhat painful to him in that area.
Sadly, his frenulum (which is supposed to be the most sensitive part of the penis, the "male g-spot" it's called) is now non-existent, as it was completely amputated during his circumcision.
On top of that, throughout his entire life, my husband has had to deal with meatal stenosis (a narrowing of the opening of the urethra, seen primarily in circumcised boys, that requires surgery to correct), which sometimes makes it difficult or painful for him to urinate, especially after intercourse, which causes him much frustration.
There are a few more things that I won't go into. However, I will say that all of these complications I just mentioned (and many many others) are, sadly, very common among circumcised men.
I will also say that I don't, in any way, think any less of my husband's "member", or our sex life because of these things. He's a wonderful man, with an amazing skill of keeping his wife pleased. He also had absolutely no say in his circumcision, he is a victim of another's choice; so it would be ridiculous for me to "look down on him" because of it. (I have to mention this because I literally had someone accuse me of "looking down on my husband" because WE are both against the practice of circumcision....yeah...) I love my husband, I love our intimacy, I love everything about him. But the point here is that once my husband learned that these complications could have been prevented, that his and our sexual experience could be even better than what it is, he found it quite upsetting. He simply couldn't live with the fact that his parents made a decision about HIS body and HIS sexuality that now only HE and WE (as a couple) have to live with.

Throughout my entire pregnancy with our son, we gathered more and more information, and enthusiastically shared our newfound knowledge with one another. It was during this time that we discovered the amazing process of "Foreskin Restoration", the amazing Ron Low and the TLC Tugger.

Finally, there was a remedy. We were thrilled! As I mentioned before, we already had a great sex life together, so imagine our joy when we found out that there was a way to make something AWESOME... even MORE AWESOME! Although restoring his foreskin would NOT bring back his 20,000+ pleasurable nerve endings that were amputated, his "ridged band", his frenulum, fix his meatal stenosis or reverse his scarring.....It WOULD allow for him to regain the "gliding motion" of a foreskin, conceal his glans and reverse the keritinization that occured, allowing for more sensitivity and pleasure. It would also give him a sense of control over his own body and sexuality, which is so important to him after these past few years of feeling robbed of his own bodily integrity.

(TO BE CONTINUED....)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Part II, I will describe my husband's first attempts at foreskin restoration, and the progress he has experienced so far.
Thank you so much for being a part of this healing journey for my husband! If you have anything to offer, please give him your greatest words of encouragement, advice, experiences, or anything else that may help him throughout this time. It would be much appreciated!

I ask that if you find this article offensive or feel the need to give pro-circumcision information that contradicts the facts that I have presented here, please just choose to pass. I promise you, we have heard it all. Every argument, every contradiction, it will not be new to us. We have been constantly researching this subject for 3 years now. We have literally spent hundreds of hours gathering information that has helped form our views. We have been a part of more debates on this subject than can be counted. We are very confident in our perspective about circumcision, and feel that restoration is the right choice for my husband. Please keep any negativity to yourself.

Love,
Boheme Mom & BluJay

Becoming a Teen Mother

8 years ago today I became a mother for the first time. I'll never forget how profoundly my life changed when I looked at the face of the most beautiful baby I had ever seen in my life. Everything that I ever cared about before seemed insignificant. My petty teenage problems melted away. I was now a mother, and the only thing in this world that mattered was nurturing and caring for this helpless and precious little girl.
I was only 17 when I had my baby girl, and I nursed her for 15 months before she self-weaned. People, especially peers, seemed really weirded out and questioned why I would ever want to breastfeed. Older people made me feel like I was too young and incapable to breastfeed, and suggested repeatedly that formula would be easier for me, especially since I was a single mom working full time to pay for my apartment, bills, and my little girl's necessities. But those judgements and opinions never stopped me from giving my daughter the best that I could offer. All I could afford at the time was a secondhand single manual pump, but I used it diligently and even grew to love it. I had never tried any other kind of pump, so to me, that was as good as it gets. Whenever my daughter was with me, she nursed from my breast. I remember nursing in front of anyone and everyone who came into my home. I would joke to my friends that "once you become a mother, you lose all modesty".
Back then, I had no idea what "attachment parenting" was, but I followed my instincts and I co-slept, breastfed, responded to her every sound, kept her in my arms and attached at the hip. She grew to be such a bright and happy little girl, and despite that I was a single, low-income, working mother, I never felt like she lacked anything, and it didn't quite feel like the big struggle that everyone warned me of. Motherhood was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. I felt complete.
By the time my daughter turned a year old, I was able to get into University and continue my education.
8 years later, I am now the proud mother of a beautiful, smart, compassionate, talented, artistic, funny, and all around wonderful little 8 year old girl, as well as two other little ones, and one on the way. My daughter is the BEST big sister! She is so loving and nurturing to her little brothers, it absolutely amazes me. It touches my heart to the point of tears (of joy) when I think about how loving and helpful my daughter was when my second child came along. My daughter is like an angel in disguise.
Although I was only a teen, my daughter wasn't planned, and I went through a hell of a difficult time during my pregnancy in a way that seemed hopeless and impossible, I stuck it out and am so incredibly thankful for the experience I was able to have, becoming a mother to my daughter. Everything just gradually fell into place, exactly when it needed to. It was meant to be.

If there are any teen mamas reading this blog, know that you were made to be a mother, and you are every bit of a mother, regardless of your age.

Never let anyone tell you otherwise. ♥

love,
Boheme Mom

Vegan Avocado No-Bake Chocolate Pie

Whether you are vegan or not, this pie is DELICIOUS! Often times, I'll give guests a slice of this chocolate pie, and it isn't until they are completely done with it that I ask them "I bet you can't guess what that pie is made of." When I tell them that the pie they just ate is almost completely avocado, the looks of disbelief are priceless!

There are various "avocado chocolate mousse" recipes online, and other similar chocolate/avocado treats, and nothing quite hid that avocado taste to my satisfaction. See, other than this pie (and on rare occassions, home made guacamole), I usually HATE avocados and can't stand the taste! However, I do realize the amazing health benefits of avocados, so I decided to come up with my own little recipe for Vegan Chocolate/Avocado Pie. I love to make this pie to give me a good, healthy reason to indulge! (I'm actually eating a slice as I write this! Mmm!!)  The best things about this pie (besides the indescribably amazing taste) is that it's simple, quick and requires no baking! Here's how to get started:

Ingredients:

-Graham cracker crust
-3 regular sized (or 2 large) ripe (and squishy!) avocados
-1 package of vegan chocolate chips
-1/2 tsp vanilla extract
-1/4 cup vanilla almond milk
-1 tbs lemon juice
-1/2 cup raw organic sugar

Instructions:

1. Peel and slice the avocados, put the avocado slices into a mixing bowl
2. I prefer to use a hand blender to puree the avocados (this gives the best texture), but I've also just used a fork to squish the avocados into a puree and it has turned out fine. Set aside.
3. In a saucepan on a stove, empty about 3/4 of the package of vegan chocolate chips, and melt the chocolate chips slowly over low heat, stirring the entire time. (if you're a chocolate fiend, go ahead and use the whole package!)
4. Once all of the chocolate chips are melted, spoon all of the melted chocolate into the mixing bowl with the pureed avocado and stir until there is no green color to be seen
5. Add the vanilla extract, vanilla almond milk, lemon juice and sugar to the mixing bowl, and stir until it is all combined
6. Pour the mixture into the graham cracker crust and spread evenly
7. Cover the top of the pie and place the pie in the fridge to chill for several hours
8. Within a few hours, the pie will 'harden' and should be about the consistency of a pumpkin pie.
9. ENJOY!


Has this recipe made you want to hit up the kitchen and make a pie? Feel free to post the pictures of your avocado pies on my Facebook wall! I'd love to see them!

Now, I'm about to get myself another slice! (Hey, don't judge, I'm eating for 3!)

Love,

Boheme Mom <3

How to Cloth Diaper on a Budget

One of the reasons many parents feel that they can not cloth diaper is because they are on a very strict budget, and in order to effectively cloth diaper, there is usually a pretty hefty start up cost.

Of course, the overall savings that cloth diapering allows is significant, considering that parents end up spending a total of $2000-$3000 per child on disposable diapers, while on average, a typical cloth diaper stash and accessories usually costs around $300 (more or less). Yet, many parents who are living paycheck-to-paycheck simply find it easier or more affordable to pay $5-$10 for a "jumbo" pack of diapers, or around $40 for a box of disposables at a time, rather than going outside of the budget to put forth hundreds of dollars on cloth diapers.

That is why I am writing this post, because I believe that it is important for ALL parents who are considering cloth diapers to know, that it does NOT have to break the bank! There are ways to cloth diaper your child for much much less than what you may think! Also keep in mind, that when you cloth diaper, you can use your diapers on multiple children, and even Re-sell them when you are done!

Something that is important to keep in mind when considering how to stick to the strictest cloth diaper budget is that your baby's age affects how many diapers your baby will need.

If you plan to wash every 2 days, this is how many diapers you will need:

NB-6 months: 20-24 diapers
6-12 months: 16-20 diapers
12-24 months: 12-16 diapers
Potty learning: 4-8 diapers


In this post I will be describing to you the various ways that you can cloth diaper affordably, and I will be linking some sources to use as an example. I am in no way affiliated with the companies or brands that I am recommending. It is only my passion to spread awareness that babies can be diapered in a more healthy and eco-friendly way, whether or not you are on a strict budget!

Flats and Covers:

Flats and covers are probably one of the most cost-efficient methods of cloth diapering on the market! Flats are wonderful because not only are they completely inexpensive, but they are usually made of cotton or other natural fibers (such as hemp or bamboo) which is healthier for your baby and the environment, and because of their design they dry very quickly, even when hung to air-dry! They are very low-maintenance and do not require much "special care" as most cloth diapers do. Flats are a very good starting point for a "rookie". There are many interesting folds that you can learn, but honestly, my favorite way to use a flat diaper is in the "pad fold", where basically the entire thing is just folded into an insert-shaped rectangle and placed into a cover. Flats are very versatile, and even the largest size flat can be folded down to accomodate a very small baby.

You can usually buy a Dozen flat cloth diapers for around $20.
Some very popular and good-quality Flat cloth diaper brands are:
Imagine Birdseye Flat cloth diapers - $14.99/dozen
Diaper Rite One-size Flat cloth diapers - $17.50/dozen
Cotton Babies One-Size Flat cloth diapers - $19/dozen
Cloth-eez One-Size Flat cloth diapers - $22/dozen
OsoCozy Unbleached One-Size Flats - $22.95/dozen

For every 4-6 cloth diapers, you will need one diaper cover.
Some of the most affordable cloth diaper covers on the market are:

Green Bees one-size diaper covers - $5
ProRap sized diaper covers - $8
Lite-Wrap sized diaper covers - $8
Econobum one-size diaper cover - $8.95
Bummis Super Lite sized diaper cover - $10

Of course, by buying one-size covers, you are saving yourself the expense and trouble of having to buy larger sizes when your baby grows. .

So, on average, to cloth diaper a baby from Birth-Potty training, you could accomplish this by spending a total of at least $50 for 2 dozen Imagine birdseye flats and 4 Green Bees Covers. Even less if you have an older baby, who requires less diapers.

Just $50 (which is just a few dollars more than a box of disposables usually costs) to cloth diaper your baby and any future babies from birth-potty learning is NOT too shabby! Also consider that when your last child is potty trained, you can also resell your diapers and covers and recover a good portion of what you spent for the diapers!

Prefolds and Covers:

Prefolds and covers are wonderful because they are inexpensive, simple, and natural. Prefolds can be folded in various ways (which are much more simple and less time consuming than the Flats folding) and can simply be Tri-folded and placed into a cover.

Before I go on about the various prefold brands, I first would like to introduce my absolute favorite budget cloth diapering kit: the Econobum Full Kit.
The Econobum system is AMAZING because both the prefolds AND the cover are One-Size (which means no extra $ spent on upsizing) and their "Full Kit" includes:
a Dozen 100% unbleached cotton one-size prefolds, 3 white one-size covers, and even a wetbag for storing dirty diapers, all for only $48.95!! This means that you could completely cloth diaper one or more children from birth-potty learning for LESS than $100!  Econobum diapers are designed to be tri-folded and placed in the cover, so there is no need to learn any "fancy folds".

Some other popular prefolds brands are:

Cotton Babies Indian Prefolds - $1-$2/ea, depending on size
Cloth-eez 100% cotton prefold - $1.25-$3.25/ea, depending on size
Imagine Indian Prefold diapers - $1.75-$2.75/ea, depending on size
Osocozy Indian Prefold diapers - $1.75-$4.25/ea, depending on size
Diaper Rite Prefold diapers - $1.99-$2.89/ea, depending on size
Econobum One-Size prefolds - $2/ea, sold in packs of 3 or more.

With prefolds (as with flats), you will need one diaper cover for every 4-6 cloth diapers. (See the "Diaper Cover" recommendations, in the "Flats" section above.)

Now, using the cheapest sources listed, you could diaper your newborn for only $44 using Cotton Babies prefolds and Green Bees one-size covers. The cost would be around $24 or so when upsizing, considering that you would need less diapers for every larger size you get. It is also nice to know that prefolds are very popular in "Diaper Swap" boards and usually sell VERY quickly, for almost as much as you paid for them!
Also, don't forget the very convenient EconoBum one-size prefold and cover kit! For less than $100, you can cloth diaper from birth to potty learning! If you start cloth diapering your older baby, you could get by with just one kit, at only $48.95!

"China Cheapies"

If you prefer convenience, but are still looking for a bargain, you may want to consider the various "made in China" brands, that are endearingly called "China Cheapies" within the cloth diapering community. (note: "China Cheapies" is NOT the name of the brand) If you are not morally or ethically opposed to products that are manufactured in China, then these brands are a good place to start.

These "China Cheapies" are usually one-size pocket diapers, with stay-dry inner fabric and microfiber inserts, and they somewhat resemble the more popular brands that you may know of, but for a fraction of the cost. Some of the more popular "China Cheapies" brands are:

ALVA Baby diapers - $4-$6/ea (they also provide discounts for buying "bundles", such as 20 diapers for $96)
Green Bees diapers - $6/ea for solid-colors (discount for buying in "bundles", such as $65/dozen, and $100 for 20)
Kawaii cloth diapers- $6.99 and up (bundles are also available for a discount)
Sun Baby diapers - $60/dozen with inserts, or can be found elsewhere for around $7-$8/ea

The brands above are the most popular China brands that I am aware of. While you may come across some even cheaper China brands out there, I cannot recommend them. (I have seen some of those other brands myself, and they are not quality, and not something that I would recommend to parents.) But the brands listed above are actually very good quality, especially for the price! They offer very cute colors and prints, and some of them even have natural options, such as bamboo inner fabric, and bamboo inserts.

Fitteds and Contour Diapers

There are also some very decent fitted diapers and contour diapers that are very inexpensive. Fitteds and contours also require a cover. You will need one diaper cover for every 4-6 cloth diapers.

Pooter's One-Size Contour Diapers - made of organic cotton, $5.40-$6.00/ea
Cloth-eez Workhorse Fitteds - very popular and VERY affordable! At only $5/ea for newborn size ($3/ea when purchased in packs of 6) and $9.95/ea for sizes S-XL ($7.95/ea when purchased in packs of 6)
GMD Infant Fitted Diapers - for smaller babies, these are a very convenient and affordable option, at $7.95-$8.95/ea
Tiny Tush Organic Cotton Contour Diapers - $8.95/ea, these are by far, some of the softest diapers I have ever felt. They come in 2 sizes, which will last from birth-potty training.
Osocozy Fitted Diaper - Made from the same great cotton that their prefolds and flats are made of, this fitted makes diapering very simple! $9.95/ea

Get to Sewin'!

Got scrap fabric? You can make your own diapers! There are tutorials galore online! Often times, you can find materials that can be used for cloth diapers for sale or on clearance at a fabric store. It's definitely worth checking into!

Clearance

Another great way to get a budget-friendly start on cloth diapering, is to cruise the "Clearance" sections of various cloth diaper online shops. You can often get popular brands that are overstocked, discontinued, or being cleared from the store for whatever reason. Almost every cloth diaper store has a Clearance section, and the deals are usually amazing!

Seconds

Many diaper companies and online stores offer "seconds" sales, where diapers that have very slight "abnormalities" that do not affect function (such as a crooked tag, uneven stitching, snaps closer than usual,or sometimes, you can't even tell what is wrong with it) are sold for much less than retail. Seeking out "seconds" sales is a great way to buy popular cloth diaper brands for much less.

Coupon Codes

This is one of my favorite money-saving methods! Almost every cloth diaper retailer offers a coupon code, and each coupon code is different. Many times, if you sign up for an e-mail list for a store, you are usually given a coupon code just for signing up, plus you'll be informed of clearances and seconds sales! Also, a great way to get the latest couponcodes, is to "Like" your favorite cloth diaper shops on Facebook.

I've seen coupon codes offer 5%-25% off, BOGO, free shipping, free samples, free diapers or accessories with purchase, etc. Coupon codes are especially useful when stocking up on cloth diaper accessories, such as Wetbags, liners, rash creams, cloth wipes, and other things that make cloth diapering easier. I would recommend that when you choose which retailer you would like to make your diaper purchase, do a search (try www.retailmenot.com) for a coupon code for that particular store. You might be able to cloth diaper the cheapest way, for even less!!

Contests and Giveaways

Contests and Giveaways are constantly occuring on the blogs and facebook pages of your favorite Cloth Diaper retailers, and you might get lucky and win some free diapers or accessories! Many times, new bloggers and new retailers try to gain popularity by attracting attention with a giveaway. These are the times that you have the highest odds to win, because the number of participants is most likely very much lower than a giveaway on a more popular site. There are some facebook pages and websites that are dedicated to keeping you informed of the most recent contests and giveaways.

Buying Secondhand

You can find just about any brand you've ever wanted to try by shopping second-hand. Usually, the diapers that you find sold secondhand are usually used (sometimes barely used), but I've been lucky several times to find brand new diapers sold for much less simply because it is no longer in the package, or no longer has the tags. Some of the most popular ways to buy second-hand cloth diapers:

Craigslist - a very good option, since it is likely local and does not require shipping. Search "cloth diapers" to see what the local folk are offering for sale.
Diaperswappers - a forum that has a very expansive "for sale" section, requires a free membership
Spot's Corner - an online marketplace where gently used children's items, especially cloth diapers, are listed.
Re-diaper.com - a great source to buy, sell and trade cloth diapers.
Ebay - a great source for buying new or used cloth diapers, just search "cloth diapers" or whatever brand you may be searching for.
Consignment Shops - many children's consignment shops are now offering new and used cloth diapers for sale, usually through local consigners.
Facebook Diaper Swap Groups - There is an entire community of cloth diaper swapping on facebook, with several different groups and pages that allow people to buy, sell and trade cloth diapers. Be sure to read up on the Rules and FAQs of the particular groups that you join!

Cloth Diaper Organizations

If you truly cannot afford to invest in cloth diapers, there are some very wonderful cloth diaper organizations available for those who qualify. These are generally non-profit, volunteer-run organizations that accept donations of new, "seconds", or used cloth diapers from companies, parents, and anyone who wishes to donate. Usually, you are required to fill out an application, provide proof of income and other requirements, and once approved,  you will receive everything you need to diaper your baby, free of charge. Usually, all that they ask is that when you are done, that you return them to the organization.

(Note: I am summarizing the general idea of the various cloth diaper organizations, from what I understand them to be. Each organization is different and has different guidelines. Please check with the individual organization's requirements and rules).

My absolute favorite Non-Profit cloth diaper lending organization, is:
The Rebecca Foundation's Cloth Diaper Closet

What I love about The Rebecca Foundation, is that not only do they provide the cloth diapers to families in need at ZERO cost to the family, but they also provide hands-on cloth diaper education classes, full support, troubleshooting, mentoring, and community outreach. There is a local Chapter of TRFCDC in various cities, each run by volunteers who are happy to do what they can to make your cloth diapering experience a success! I highly recommend TRFCDC!

Using Alternative Products

Yes, cloth diapering can be pricey when you get the "top of the line" products and all accessories involved. But really, how much of those fancy things are actually necessary?? Here are some ideas for saving some money while cloth diapering:

Diapers - It's sometimes not totally necessary to go out and buy a big new stash of diapers.
*Do you have a ton of old receiving blankets laying around that you no longer use? Did you know that those are PERFECT for cloth diapering?! Receiving blankets just happen to be the perfect size to be used as a flat, and is actually a very popular method of cloth diapering for less!
*Do you happen to have a bunch of old kitchen tea towels, or flour sack towels? These are relatively cheap and are also the perfect size to be used as a flat cloth diaper!
*Did you know that you can make a cloth diaper by folding an old t-shirt?! Look up how, they can actually be pretty cute!

Covers- If you happen to have some fleece pants around the house, they can also double as a diaper cover! Fleece is commonly used to make diaper covers, soakers, and longies, and really, any pair of regular fleece pants that you can find at a store or thrift shop will make a perfect cloth diaper cover!
*If you have sewing skills, you can also hit up your local thrift store and stock up on wool or fleece sweaters, and upcycle them into cloth diaper covers, soakers, or longies! =)

Wetbags- Although convenient, fancy wetbags are not entirely necessary. Before I ever purchased a wetbag, I re-used plastic grocery store bags, and simply threw the bag away after emptying the cloth diapers into the washer. This is definitely not the most eco-friendly way to store your diapers, but if you happen to already have a stockpile of plastic grocery bags, it is definitely a great way to put them to re-use until you can afford a reusable wetbag.
I also used to have one of those large zippered bags that my bed comforter came in, and I used and re-used that as a wetbag for several months! I would just spray and rinse it out between uses.
Dollar Tree also carries "Waterproof laundry bags" for only $1 each. However, I have used a few, and they are not very sturdy, so don't try to put too much diaper laundry in it at once, or it will tear. But it is a great reusable alternative to a wetbag.

Diaper Pail - Got an extra trashcan lying around? Sanitize it really well and it will make the perfect cloth diaper pail! Most people prefer to use the trashcans that have pop-up lids, as it helps contain the diaper smell inside the can. If you don't have an extra trashcan, they are very inexpensive to buy at a dollar store or thrift store.

Cloth Wipes - Cloth wipes can help cut down your diapering costs a LOT, since they are reusable, and are washed right along with your diapers. It's not always necessary to make a special purchase of cloth wipes when there are many different things laying around your house that you could use for cloth wipes.
*Baby washcloths - many parents get TONS of these at baby showers or with baby gifts. Baby washcloths make PERFECT cloth wipes! They are the perfect size and thickness, and when folded in half, they fit nicely inside of a wipe container.
*Flannel - if you have old flannel blankets laying around, or even flannel fabric, you can cut several squares (about the size of a baby washcloth) and these make perfect cloth wipes! Since flannel does not fray, there is no need to sew or serge the edges.
*Old Towels - many households have that pile of old towels that no one really wants to use anymore. Cut them up into squares or rectangles and make them into cloth wipes!
*There is rarely a fabric that can't be used for making cloth wipes. If you've got old clothes or scrap fabric and nothing to do with them, cut them up and make cloth wipes with them!

Wipe Solutions - While most wipe solutions are very cool, smell pretty, and can be super convenient, they simply are not necessary. Good old fashioned water works perfectly well to wet your cloth wipes. If you MUST have something more, just add a squirt of baby wash, and maybe a few drops of baby oil into a jar, squirt bottle, or spray bottle and fill it with water. There you go, easy, cheap wipe solution!

Diaper Liners - Diaper liners may or may not be necessary. They certainly help protect your diapers from diaper rash creams, and can be very useful in cleaning up messy diapers, but they can also be pretty pricey! The most cost-efficient option would be to make your own reusable diaper liners from old receiving blankets or clearance flannel fabric. If you are needing a stay-dry liner, you can cut up fleece rectangles to place inside your diapers. Almost every fabric store will have "scrap fabric", usually with a good amount of flannel or fleece in the mix, and this is usually very cheap, and more than enough to make liners!

Doublers - Need extra absorbency, but dont want to dish out the extra dough? There are options for doubling the absorbency in your diapers:
*Fold up a washcloth and place it in your diaper as an addition
*Many parents receive those Gerber "cloth diapers"/burp cloths at baby showers or as gifts. Although these make awful diapers, they do make wonderful doublers, when tri-folded and added as an addition to your diaper.
*Microfiber towels are VERY cheap to buy, and can be folded up and placed inside of a diaper to make a very effective doubler. Make sure that the microfiber DOES NOT touch baby's skin. Microfiber is to be used inside of a pocket diaper, or hidden within a prefold or flat.
*If you bought the newborn sized prefolds, these make very excellent doublers for your cloth diapers. It is worth it to hang onto a few of them for that purpose.

Diaper Sprayer - One of the most awesome inventions in the cloth diaper world, yet I still have never owned one in the 4 and a half years that I've cloth diapered.
What I usually do is I shake the poop into the toilet, and I rinse off the stains/leftovers in the bathroom sink, while making the faucet "spray" with my hand. I've mastered it so that I don't spray the water anywhere outside of the sink. Please note that it's very important that you sanitize the sink after each time you do this!

Cloth Diaper Detergent - You most likely have heard of those fancy special "cloth diaper detergents" that are really pricey and must be ordered. While detergent is one of the most important factors of your cloth diapering success, it is not usually necessary to get the fancy expensive detergents. There are many brands of inexpensive cloth-diaper-safe detergents that are reasonably priced and can be found at your local grocery store. My favorite is Tide. Other popular cloth-friendly store-bought brands are: Country Save, Planet, Ecos, All Free and Clear, Arm and Hammer Essentials Free, Allen's Naturally, and others. If you're really pressed for cash, there are some very good cloth diaper detegernt recipes online that you can make yourself from inexpensive ingredients such as Baking Soda, Borax, etc.

Diaper Fasteners - While I truly think that Snappi's are SO convenient, and completely worth the $3.95...if you truly cannot swing that cost, there are always diaper pins. These can usually be found near the Gerber "cloth diapers"/burp cloths, and you can usually buy a pack of them for around $1 or so. They're also great to keep on hand and in the diaper bag just in case. You never know when your Snappi may break or get lost, or when you might need to make a makeshift diaper from a receiving blanket in a pinch. It's always a good idea to keep some diaper pins around.

Take it Slow

Even if you truly cannot afford to put down even $50-$100 for a cloth diaper stash, it is so worth it to at least try to get one or two cloth diapers at a time, and slowly build your stash when you can. Every little bit counts. Just think, if you replaced only 2 cloth diapers per day, you are saving at least 60 disposable diapers per month from being in the landfill, and saving yourself the cost of TWO jumbo packs of disposable diapers! What a difference it can make to even use cloth diapers part-time! And just think, with that $20 you saved from not buying those two jumbo packs of diapers, you can use that to buy an entire stash of Flat cloth diapers!

-----------------------------------------------

I hope that this post has helped someone who may be on the fence about whether or not to cloth diaper realize that it does not always have to be a costly investment. There are options to begin cloth diapering for a very low start-up cost, options to use things that may just be lying around the house, and even options for those who are low-income and cannot afford diapers. When there's a will, there's a way.

Happy Cloth Diapering!!

Love,
Boheme Mom <3

Halfway Through this Pregnancy Journey

Yesterday I hit the "halfway mark" of this preganancy as my baby bump is now 20 weeks gestation!
It's so hard to believe that time has flown SO fast and this pregnancy is already halfway over!

I haven't blogged much throughout this pregnancy. Not long after I found out about this little miracle, my morning sickness and first trimester fatigue kicked in FULL force and lasted until about 15 weeks or so! Around that time, we moved and I've been super busy dealing with other matters of great importance... so unfortunately, my blogging got put on the back burner.

Luckily, my energy is back! I'm now getting a start on planning this pregnancy and all of this preparation is getting me so excited and anxious to meet the little one inside who we now call "Baby Gummy Bears", thanks to little Nuni (he came up with that sweet nickname).

Things are going according to plan so far, and I couldn't be more thrilled!
I've picked out a wonderful midwife, and she will be assisting in my homebirth! This will be my first home birth and I am SO excited and SO ready to birth peacefully and naturally. The sense of relief that I get, knowing that I will (ideally) not have to endure the hospital environment and all that is involved, is a feeling that is indescribable.

I've also picked out a Doula, and I believe she will be assisting my midwife as well. I am thrilled about that, because one of my few anxieties about having a homebirth was that I was afraid that too many people in too small a space might throw off my focus during the birth. With my doula doubling as a midwife's assistant that is one less person, which is good news to me! I'm so excited about getting this birth team together! I'm still on the fence about whether or not to hire a birth photographer. On one hand, it would mean so much to me to have my first home birth documented with pictures, on the other hand, that is one more person, and I'm afraid that if someone who I am not familiar with is taking photos of the process, it might throw off my focus or the "energy" that I would like to accomplish.

We've stuck to our plan to keep the gender of Baby Gummy Bears a mystery until the day he or she is born! It makes me THAT much more excited for the day I get to meet this little one, and learn if I've been carrying a boy or a girl this whole time! Almost everything we've bought for this baby is gender neutral. We have a lot of green, yellow, white, and "natural" colors. We also got a few blue things, but we plan to back them up with a few blue headbands/bows just in case!

So far every single thing that we've bought for this baby is organic! We planned to go 100% organic with this baby, and I can't believe it, but we've actually stuck to the plan! So far we have an entire lot of organic newborn cloth diapers and diaper covers, organic blankets, clothes, towels, baby products, and toys! We still have much more left to buy, but I feel like we're not doing too bad for 20 weeks.
I still have most of my baby stuff from my previous kids, but by now (after going through at least 2 kids, some things have gone through 3 kids) they're ready to be replaced, so we figured, what better way to start over than to get everything organic? We're trying to buy as much secondhand organic things as possible (and have been really lucky with some finds!), but when we must buy something new, we fund it by selling something that we already own and giving it a new life for someone else. It's our goal to leave as small a footprint as possible.

My mind is filled with hopes and dreams for the perfect healing birth. I know it's not likely that 100% of these dreams will come true, but this is how I imagine my IDEAL birth...

When I picture my home birth, I imagine it starting out happy and lighthearted in the early stages. I would like to laugh with my husband while watching a movie, eat something delicious, bounce on the birthing ball and even let Nuni bounce with me! When the labor picks up and it's time to call in the midwife and doula... I imagine the lights being minimal, candles placed throughout the room that I am birthing in, herbs in the tub, aromatherapy around me, floating candles in the birthing tub, incense in a nearby room, my huge mandala tapestry in front of me as a focal point, and very soothing music that I am familiar with. I will have a birthing pool, but I'm not quite sure yet if I picture myself actually giving birth in the water, or just laboring in the water. (I guess I'll have to follow the lead of my labor and see where it takes me.) I want my husband in the pool with me, arms wrapped around me, moving with however my body feels the need to move during labor. I want him there with me through every step of my labor. I want him just as much a part of the labor process as he was involved in creating this life. I imagine the doula advising my husband on ways to assist the labor process and ways to comfort me. I want to sing during labor. I want to nurse Nuni during labor. I want to kiss my husband during contractions. I want to even dance (if I can). If Nuni can handle the situation well, I would love him there for every minute of it. If he gets overwhelming or scared, it would be nice to know that he is playing happily in the next room with someone he loves and trusts. I would love to have wrapped presents for Nuni saved for the day that I give birth, so that he can have something new and interersting to entertain him throughout the hours. I want to hum during transition, almost meditatively. I would love gentle reminders that my body is meant to do this, that I will not be given more pain than I can handle. I want to embrace the rushes, and listen to my body, moving in whatever position my body is telling me. As my baby is descending, I want to reach down and feel my baby coming out of me. I want to catch my baby, and with the help of my husband, bring him or her directly to my chest, as we discover whether we will forever have a new son or a new daughter in our lives. I want to nurse my baby almost immediately. I want to smell the sweet natural scent of my freshly born child. I want to keep my baby's cord attached until it has turned white and no longer pulsating, before my husband cuts it; a symbol of him seperating the physical bodily attachment between mother and child. I want my husband to assist with anything that must be done with the baby as I prepare to birth the placenta. I would love to have a small slice of placenta placed under my tongue to help prevent hemorrage. (Maybe even take a bite if I'm feeling brave and animalistic!) I would love Nuni to see his Baby Gummy Bears go from being a "baby tummy" (as he calls it) to becoming his new brother or sister! I would love for Nuni to be one of the first people to hold our baby, besides Daddy. I want to keep my baby to my bare skin and rarely ever put him or her down unless I absolutely must (to be weighed and such) for at least the first 24 hours. I would love to be able to shower away the sweat of labor, get into the comfiest of clothes, maybe eat something, and go right to bed with my family for some much needed rest.

One may notice that the vast majority of my dreams for this birth directly involve my family. I realize that my midwife, doula, and everyone else on my birth team will play a very active and wonderful role in my birth. I'm not quite positive yet what to expect, since this will be my first home birth, but I can't wait to incorporate the wonderful women on my birth team into this "dream scene" when the big day comes! Who knows if, 20 weeks from now, my birth will be anything like this? Birth is so unpredictable and so instinctual! I'm so excited to see how the real birth story will pan out! One day I may look back on this "vision" for my home birth and laugh! Who knows?

All I know is that I feel as though I am ready. This time, I'm ready to experience birth as naturally, as beautifully, as memorably as possible. My dream is for this experience to be the healing birth that my soul has longed for all of this time.

Love,

Boheme Mom

My Diaper Laundry Routine

I've been asked TONS of times about my cloth diaper/mama cloth washing routine and I can't even begin to count the number of times I've had to sit down and write it all out! To me, it is very worth it to spell out the specifics of a cloth diaper washing routine, because it can be the difference between perfect, stain-free, fresh-smelling, new-looking diapers VS dingy, worn out, stinky, stained, and repulsive diapers.
I've been cloth diapering for over 4 and a half years now (with many more years to come once this new baby arrives!) and TRUST ME, I have been through my various washing routines, I've made my mistakes, I did all the "don'ts", and through this time I've figured out the perfect cloth diaper washing routine that has kept my diapers looking PERFECT! In fact, I've even bought some used diapers before which looked very hopeless (super dark stains, totally dingy, stinky) and today, you would never guess that I didn't buy them brand new!

Keep in mind that this very same wash routine can be used with mama cloth (aka cloth "feminine items") to keep them looking nice!

The #1 rule for keeping your cloth diapers nice is DETERGENT!


Some of the best detergents on the market to use for cloth diapers are Charlie's Soap, Rockin' Green, Tiny Bubbles and similar "Cloth Diaper Specific" laundry detergents. There are also some detergents that you can buy at the grocery store or health food store that are safe to use. Some of the ones I can think of are ECOS, Planet, Country Save, and believe it or not TIDE Original powder (must be original, no added scents or softeners etc) works VERY well with cloth diapers. I've also heard that Tide Free and Clear works just as well. Be sure to get the powder version of any detergent, it's known to work best for diapers. Also, here's a link that goes over all the detergents and their compatibility with cloth diapers. 4 stars means it works great and is safe to use, 1 and 2 stars means DONT use, it could ruin your diapers or cause issues..3 stars means its not the best but it wouldnt hurt it too much. I prefer to stick with the 4 stars, thats how i keep my diapers looking brand new.
http://www.diaperjungle.com/detergent-chart.html

Now personally, I use Tide. I've been a long-time Country Save and Rockin' Green user myself, until I moved to a place where we had REALLY hard water! Tide worked the best for me with hard water, and now that we live in the countryside where we have Well Water, Tide is literally now the ONLY thing that works to keep my diapers perfect. I've heard only great things and awesome results from parents who use Tide for their diapers, and it's also locally available, which is a plus! (Please note that the Harder your water is, the more you will want to use a 4-star (from the list) detergent, and not risk using anything less. Also, it helps to use a little bit more detergent than what is recommended for cloth diapers if you have hard water.)

It helps a lot to ask around and find out what type of water you are using: Hard water, Soft water, etc.
Generally, the harder the water, the more carefully you must consider your washing routine.
 --------------

Pre-Washing Routine - What to do Right After a Diaper Change

- Right after, use, I always rinse my diapers with warm water, even if it was just pee. If I'm using a pocket diaper, I remove the insert from the pocket and rinse both the insert and the pocket cover. I rinse the pee out as best as I can, usually until the water runs clear. (By rinsing out the pee I am helping to prevent ammonia build up in the fibers.) If the diaper is poopy, I pay special attention to try to spray off every bit of poo and brown-ness that I can. This makes it much easier for the diaper to get thoroughly cleaned on wash day.

- For poopy diapers, I spray them with BioKleen Bac-out or Charlie's pre-spray (its not necessary, but it helps to prevent staining from Poop on diapers, and keeps them from getting stinky with use.) and then I put the diaper in the diaper pail or wetbag.

- I never go more than 2 days before the next diaper load (that way it wont get ammonia build-up from the urine, which is possible if you go many days without washing.)

WASHING INSTRUCTIONS:

**Please note that this washing routine is best for those using a top-loading washing machine. I do not have experience with washing diapers in a Front-loading or HE machine.**

 -1 cold pre-rinse with no detergent (to get out the "nasties")

After the rinse:
-Add around 2 tbs cloth-diaper safe detergent (slightly more for hard water)

-Start the 2nd rinse

-Followed by a Hot wash

-There will usually be another cold rinse that automatically occurs after the wash

-Do a final cold rinse to get out all traces of detergent (this prevents soap residue buildup, and keeps them looking new)
NOTE: Do NOT use liquid fabric softener in your diaper laundry, specifically in the diapers that are synthetic fabrics (like fleece, PUL, microfiber, etc)! Fabric Softener can cause some major build-up issues, as well as cause the diapers to repel (or lose their absorbency).

 DRYING:

**Please NOTE that it's best to air-dry any fabrics that are waterproofed with PUL or TPU (which is the glossy-looking fabric under the polyester that you will usually see as the shell of a pocket diaper, AIO, AI2, or cover. Excessive heat to these waterproof fabrics may cause delamination which may result in leaks.**

Dryer:
-Most diapers are safe to put in the dryer. I typically dryer-dry all of my natural fibers diapers and inserts, my microfiber inserts, and cloth wipes.

-Be sure to set the dryer on low heat/tumble dry. This is the most gentle dryer setting and will assist in your diapers lasting longer and looking great!

-For a boost of softness and also to help reduce drying time, I always add 8 (or you can add more!) Wool Dryer Balls to the dryer for my diaper laundry.

NOTE: NEVER EVER use fabric softener sheets in your diaper laundry of any kind! Fabric Softener Sheets/Dryer Sheets cause major build-up issues, as well as cause the diapers to repel.

 Air-Drying:
Air Drying your diapers is a great way to preserve the life of your cloth diapers, while being super Eco-Friendly! 
I always hang-dry my pockets and diaper covers to keep the lamination in perfect condition. However, some parents air-dry or line-dry all of their cloth diapers! Some great ways to air dry diapers are:
-Outside on a clothesline
-Using a Drying Rack
-Hanging over a rod, or over coat hangers which are then hung from a rod
-Placed just about anywhere around the house (over the backs of chairs, over the side of the crib, the hand-rail on the stairs, over a balcony, Ive done it all!)

If your diapers (especially the natural fabrics) ever feel "crunchy" or stiff after air-drying them, give them a good wild shaking, they'll usually soften up. If that doesn't work, toss them in the dryer for 5 minutes, and they'll fluff right up!

 Note: even if you air-dry every time, it's good to toss your laminate fabrics in the dryer to dry at least once every few months or so. The heat of the dryer will "re-seal" the laminate on the waterproof fabric, keeping it leak-proof.
-------------------------------------------------

Using these general "rules of thumb" you can keep your cloth diaper stash (and your mama cloth!) looking nice and new, and smelling fresh!

Well, I just heard the dryer go off! Time for me to go fold some nice fluffy diaper laundry! =)

Love,
Boheme Mom